I learned God doesn't exist before some children
learned about Santa Claus.
Matter-of-factly, my mother explained
rain
was science and Christ
was a story.
At 5, there was no room for nuance, a
baptism into skepticism.
It's a family tradition, she
told me,
atheism, the way Sunday service
is tradition for our neighbors,
we are rational
and they pray before dinner.
My great-grandmother, the small-
scale rebel, was banned
from the church. When her
friend died, the priest still would
not let her in.
So she screamed
and she screamed
and she banged on the doors
and she caused this great scene
till he did.
Easter is a pagan ritual, my mother
continues. The painted eggs are
on the counter, drying,
pagan, the sweet bread, pagan.
She takes the reddest egg,
and with it draws
the Holy Cross
on my forehead.
4/09/2015
