07 декември 2012

acute homesickness

нека "дом" се чете като европа, не като русе.
лудвам. мечтая си само за думички български. за летища. всеки път, когато стъпя на европейска земя, усещам рязката промяна в атмосферата. 
и си мечтая. за автобуси и столици. за хора, които разбират всичките ти подтекстове и метафори. за ски, защото може би най-после ще се науча. 
за коледа с родителите ми. за L'Europeo.
надявам се Гранта да е хубаво издание и в българския си вариант. 

последните ми няколко стихотворения са на английски - професорът в семинара ми по творческо писане не чете български. което всъщност е добре, защото осъзнах, че да пишеш на чужд език не е толкова непостижимо. 

казвайте ми някакви неща - следя статистиките и знам, че все още има хора, които четат тук. имам нужда да чувам мнения.


My Ode to Barcelona

The city, wherever you go it will go. 
                                        – Kavafy 
Here I have never felt either the tenderness
of the mother-tongue or the support
of any tradition other than civil
war, just where for me the past begins.
When I have searched penniless
for her dubious warmth she didn't even look at me.
I fell in love with her when I was young,
but now we know each other too well:
nor can she deceive me
when she comes out, eyes painted with twilight,
nor can I deceive her with a few poems.
If I were to go away, she'd never come with me.
And if I want to be more and more distant
there is no need anyway for me to go. But now and then,
when I least expect it, early some morning,
what terror is it makes me hear the echo
of footsteps where someone is walking away
before me down streets where there is no one.
                                                Joan Margarit

02 декември 2012

My Own Carnation Revolution

The lights of the Lisboa bridge 25 de abril are
painting the water red and green

your eyes are not green

It's okay,
your stream of golden curls
distorted alpha-helices
should be described in research papers
as an anomaly of perfect beauty
should be in history books
a fallen authoritarian regime
a sharp increase in double-takes
sleepless economists try to model it
journalists cover the event
and i am there too
the only survivor in
the fireless war that is your smile
honored and barely speaking.

Your eyes are not green, but there is red
red flowers in the barrel of a rifle
and one burning inside you
not like a fire, but
the first moments of an explosion,
before you know if the construction will
tumble down or
hold still.